Thursday, October 22, 2009

Reaching Sleep

When I cry myself to sleep tonight, hold me in your dreams

Keep me close beside your heart, so I can hear it's beat

Let me feel the warmth that's you surround my very soul

For when it's daybreak in morning light I know that you must go.

But for that intermittent while, when in our secret place

Let me feel you next to me, in your warm embrace

Breathing slows as comfort grows and into dreams we go...

Friday, October 16, 2009

A Place In My Heart

I dreamt about you again last night. We were lying close on our sides facing each other atop a blanket in the warm sand. A gentle breeze was blowing softly over us. I couldn't hear what we were talking about, all I heard was the gentle waves washing ashore. The sun was shining brightly down on us in our little world. Not another living soul was near. We were smiling and I felt whole and perfectly content just being with you. My heart so overjoyed it seemed it would jump out of my chest. You said something funny and we laughed together then you reached your hand out and placed it on my cheek and pulled me to you for a kiss. A very pleasurable shock of energy shot through me. In that moment I was completely yours and you mine. It is a moment I could stay lost in forever.

In my waking hours I can feel you with me wherever I go. Other than two particular things, if I start to feel down or frustrated I think of you and it goes away. If I feel lost or scared you help me find my way to be brave. Who would have thought just knowing someone as wonderful as you existing in this world could bring so much peace and happiness. I feel like God has let me in on some big secret no one else knows and here lately I walk around with a smile on my face, knowing I am blessed with the most extraordinary gift. You are my personal angel and I cherish you.

We may never meet, who knows??? I do know you have a permanent home in my heart and I will never evict you. I will carry you with me always. Your existence brings me peace and comfort. I feel safe having you with me. Even when it is your time to go, to move on to other things, a part of you will always be here with me, loved unconditionally.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Egypt, land of the dead

The papyrus sway in the cool night air, dancing to an unheard song. The muddy water of the Nile swishes against the river bank keeping rhythm with the wind. I've always enjoyed this time of night alone. My chance to think and study. I am not supposed to know how to read, much less study the practices of the High Priests. Daughter of the Pharaoh, I am to be seen, not heard, as if I were a child. I am merely a decoration to be adored and catered to.

My twin sister, Kakra, who is minutes younger than I, loves the attention . She is a self indulgent, narcissist. She thinks she is prettier than me, although we are the same. Kakra constantly chides me " You are father's favorite, blessed and named by the Goddess Isis at birth, you really think you are something special. One day I will see that you pay, Eshe!! You will NEVER rule these lands as Queen. I am stronger than you and will be ruler!!"

Dealing with that who wouldn't love a little time alone with the crocodiles and toads??? "I heard that," I hear Kakra say in my head. Okay so I don't ever really get much time alone, my sister and I, while completely different in personality, share a psychic bond and are in each others heads all the time. As little girls, this was fun. We could share secrets and no one could over hear. I know everything about her and she about me. I know she too, has been studying, although she has a preference for the black arts. "Leave me be, Kakra." I hear her laughing response, oh how she loves to torment me.

I open my book to read, but begin to feel very sleepy after sipping from my cup of wine. The words on the pages are a blur and I cannot make them out. As I drift off as I hear echos of my sister's laughter.

I awake to find myself laid out on a stone table stripped of my garments and adornments. My eyes are open and I can see. I can hear the High Priest cast his last rites as the others, adorned in their death ceremony masks chant around us. I wonder who has died??? I try to sit up to see, but cannot move. I feel hands on my body, rubbing scented oils and realize this is the purification ritual of the dead, and they think I am the dead. Panic seizes me, I try to fight, but once again find my body paralyzed by whatever evil spell has been cast. I feel a burning like acid, begin to course through my body and know that she has poisoned me. My own flesh and blood. "I told you I would be Queen" I hear Kakra in my head. "Help me, Kakra, please. This is wrong!!" All I hear is her evil laughter in response to my begging.

A hand reaches across my face and gently closes my eyes and I feel the cool, metal of silver coins being placed on my lids, my fee to cross the river Styx. I scream, but it only resounds in my head. I begin praying to Isis, who blessed me at birth. "Mother Isis, please help me, please let them see that I am still alive." I hear Kakra "No one will help you, you are dead to everyone."

Two strong, masculine hands grab my head and tilt it back. It is the priest. I can smell the burning incense mingled with the sweat of his body as he speaks the death blessing to me. I know what is next and try with all my might to move, to blink, anything so this madness will stop!! I feel the hook begin to make it's way up my nasal passage. It's goal is to remove my brain piece by piece. I try to mentally block out what is happening. It seems to work as the world goes dark.

I come to, feeling dizzy and confused. I can move and breathe, it was only a dream! I open my eyes fully and am taken aback. I am still in the death chamber, although on the floor. I see my body laid out on the table, the priest inserting the hook. I hear my sister in my head "NOOOooooOOo!!! How can this be???? " Now it is my turn to laugh "I am the blessed one Kakra, my name, Eshe is life. You were merely a shadow of me. Now you're body is my vessel, and how convenient it is that I don't have to change a thing. It's great to be twins, is it not, Kakra??" I laugh again at her horror. " I must excuse myself now, it's seems Father is about to come down with the same ailment as I, oh wait, you. I must prepare myself to step into his place."

As I walk out of the chamber, I hear the wet pop and squishing noise as the hook jams into Kakra's brain. I giggle softly as I set out to rule the world.