Tuesday, May 1, 2012

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 “Are you a gift from the gods?” he inquired.

“I like to think so, sir, but occasionally I’ve been called the devil herself.” I giggled at the face he threw at me.  Fear, disbelief, somewhere in between, either way, it was funny as hell.

“I beg you not to take my soul,” he cried.

Oh boy, there I go again, upsetting the natives.  “Get up you fool.  I’m not going to take your soul.” I paused before I mumbled, “But I might nibble your liver.” I’ve been getting better at keeping a straight face when I screw with people.  I’m sure if he looked beyond his terror, he’d see the twinkling glint in my eye that always gave me away.  

“I have liver, madam.  If that is what you wish, I’ll gladly give you all the liver in the world in exchange for my soul. I have children you see, and the missus would be lost without me. I’ll even take the neighbor’s liver for you.”

Great, another married one.  I sighed heavily, my disappointment showing.  I refused to use the married ones for my tasks.  A girl has to have some standards and I refused to be known as a home wrecker, especially if the dude up and died on me.  Some men are frailer than they let on, you know. I commend them though, choosing to take the very well-being of another’s life in their hands and guard it. Some fail miserably.  Like the fella in Sabat that whored around while his wife starved at home, penniless, and no means to even seek the basic needs of survival. His brother was much better suited to her.  So don’t ever tell me I’m always up to no good. 

“Naww, that’s alright.  I don’t want any liver right now.  But, you had better walk the path of righteousness and be a provider for your family, else I shall return and claim your soul.” I flicked my hand in the air, dismissing the poor fella. He bowed as he swiftly backed away from me, then turned and ran.  I knew I didn’t have long before the rumors started about the devil being in town. One day I was going to learn to keep my mouth shut.  Sadly, I succumbed to my only form of amusement whenever possible.  Geesh, maybe I was the devil. I shucked that thought from my brain; if I were the devil, I’d have wings for sure.  There’s no way I’d be a wingless devil. And besides, the devil is a male.

I slipped quietly out of the alleyway, trying to remember the layout of the old map. Let’s face it, I was useless when it came to direction. I always figured it out eventually, my Zen GPS would kick in and bring me where I needed to be. Besides, the fun involved in being lost was priceless.  You never know who you will meet or where you will end up.  So off we go…

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