Welcome to class :o) (you say: Hello VV) today I shall give you a lesson in manners and ettiquette. We will start with a few basic manners that some of you seems to forget about on a regular basis.. so here goes...
1) Remember to always say please and thank you. For instance, when you are holding someone at gunpoint, trying to mug them instead of saying, "Yo Bitch gimme the bag!" say, "Yo Bitch, gimme the bag, please" and always remember to thank your victims when you are leaving. After all, they are you main means of income, you should show gratitude.
2)Dress appropriately ~ this should be self explanitory.... if you are jacking a joint at night, wear dark colors... most people opt for black, but seriously consider a dark charcoal gray instead. Black can actually make you stand out more, as shadows are not truly black.
3)Do not speak loudly ~ well duh.. someone might hear you!! Then everyone will know what you're up too *eyerolls*
4) Do not ask people intrusive, personal questions ~ we'll leave this for the police when they investigate, and remember the best answer is silence!!
5) Do not point at people ~ A dead give away to your target... and he will run! Then you won't get paid.
6) Never intentionally embarass another ~ Especially if they are higher ranking than you are on the social scale.. it means they have more money to off you for looking side ways at them.
7) Make eye contact when speaking with someone~ There are a couple of reasons for this.. a) to show respect b) to let the other person know you ain't afraind, and won't step off.
8)Use your napkin at the dinner table~What if you find yourself needing to whip out your shooter, and your fingers are all covered with grease?? How can you get a decent grip on your weapon then??
And while we are at the table:
a) Sit properly and straight in your chair~ this really gives you more room to move if bullets start flying.
b) Talk about plasant things~ How you sliced up Joe, or broke his knees, if not appropriate conversation at the table. Save that for the club later. Instead talk about the newest stripper at the bar.
c) Place your napkin in your lap~ Easier to hide your gun. (duh)
9) Don't get up and walk out during class~ This will make me hurl a purple pen into the back of your head.
10) Respect secrets ~ One should never reveal secrets: if you should happen to slip on a drunken night, well you have to tie up the loose ends and bury the body where no one can find it. So always keep a shovel in your car just in case.
11) Children, especially in certain circumstances must always remain quiet, and pretend to be deaf... and no selling your children under any circumstance!!
and finally (for now)
12) Stand up straight and don't grab your crotch in public ~ a REAL man walks tall, not slouching and holding their dick to hold up their pants... have you clothes fitted to you... loose clothes are a hinderence, especially in a fight. They can cost you your life... standing straights tells the world, "don't eff with me!! I WILL hurt you." it exudes confidence. Just do it. I'm surprised you G-ma hasn't smacked you upside the head for slouching already...
Class dismissed...
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